FOR every classic like Mariah’s All I Want For Christmas Is You, there’s a dodgy or deeply weird Christmas song recorded by a famous singer.
Depending on your tolerance towards festive tunes, your favourite pop star announcing that their next musical project is a Christmas album will either fill you with festive cheer — or dread.
There are more than a handful of classic modern Christmas songs released by pop singers over the years (with one ubiquitous anthem standing tall above the rest) — but there are also dated, lazy, cheesy and downright inappropriate festive tunes released by artists who really should know better.
Here are five of the very best Christmas pop songs — and five best avoided:
Mariah Carey — All I Want For Christmas Is You
There’s a reason this song rockets back into the top 10 worldwide each and every festive season, 23 years after it was originally released. MARIAH CAREY WROTE A STONE-COLD CHRISTMAS CLASSIC.
Kylie Minogue — Every Day’s Like Christmas
A Chris Martin-penned festive gem from Our Kylie’s 2015 Christmas album. Even better? The Stock Aitken Waterman remix, bringing the tune right back to the glory years of I Should Be So Lucky and The Locomotion.
Wham — Last Christmas
A pop classic that’s especially poignant now, given George Michael passed away on Christmas Day last year.
Darlene Love — Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
A 60s stormer that still holds up today. If you’re separated from a loved one at Christmas, put this on and weep into your mince pies.
Kelly Clarkson — Underneath The Tree
You can always depend on Clarko to come up with the goods.
Justin Bieber — Mistletoe
If you’re after quality Christmas music, you can do a lot better than teenage Bieber singing an anaemic rip-off of I’m Yours. As the Biebs himself sang, Love Yourself.
Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton — You Make It Feel Like Christmas
10 years ago, Gwen Stefani had transitioned from No Doubt into being arguably the most exciting pop star in the world. Now she’s releasing gooey loved-up duets about “sweet ginger bread” with her country crooner boyfriend. Bummer.
Lady Gaga — Christmas tree
“Hos, hos, hos, under the mistletoe, yes everybody knows, we will take off our clothes” — Look, we love us some Stefani Germanotta, but peak Gaga this is not. Entirely too sexed up to play at Christmas lunch.
Destiny’s Child — 8 Days of Christmas
We’ll admit it’s a bit of a banger, but those lyrics! “On the 8th day of Christmas my baby gave to me, a pair of Chloe shades and a diamond belly ring,” indeed.
New Kids On The Block — Funky, Funky, Christmas
May all your Christmases be funky. This 80s white boy band rap mess is best avoided, though.