TAYLOR Swift’s reign is crashing down before our eyes and I’m loving every second of it.
Her carefully curated image is starting to unravel and fans are quickly turning into haters.
While we might not see an aggressive uprising of former followers topple a statue of Taylor like people did with Saddam, a catty hashtag has been created which is kind of the same thing. With #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty, her metaphorical statue is being dragged through the streets of my Twitter feed. It’s a joyous yet sombre time.
I’ve long sensed Taylor Swift has a case of the Anne Hathaways and I’ve been waiting years for it to peak.
Remember the “Hathahate” that swept through 2013?
We used to love Anne Hathaway. The Princess Diaries was a brilliant film. So was the sequel. And who doesn’t watch The Devil Wears Prada every time it’s rolled out on free-to-air? Anne was great. Then she won an Oscar, got all actress-y and cut her hair short.
I’m not saying a person’s capability of being extremely annoying is in direct correlation to when they cut their hair into a bob, but they certainly have an attitude for the first few days afterwards.
Ultimately, Anne became affected and not authentic. Everything became contrived: Her reactions at award shows. Her gushy red carpet interactions. The long, forced and rehearsed stories she’d tell on talk shows to make herself seem relatable and self-deprecating.
Jennifer Lawrence almost tripped into “Hathahate” territory, but there weren’t enough cameras around to catch the moment, so she stood up straight again.
Taylor on the other hand is full steam ahead.
Things reached capacity this week and she’s found herself at the centre of a Swift-storm.
The main development that turned fans was when Taylor’s team spilt she’d secretly written the lyrics to her recent ex Calvin Harris’ latest hit, This Is What You Came For. Fans started the #TaylorSwiftOverParty hashtag and began using the snake emoji to symbolise Taylor. Do we all feel like we’re in grade nine again?
And of course, even dead people are aware of the obnoxious world tour Taylor embarked on with her new boyfriend of seven seconds Tom Hiddleston. Don’t forget the very public meeting of each other’s parents after two weeks (I kept my ex away from my parents for more than two years and I tell people with pride).
Ultimately, Taylor Swift just seems like a brat. I imagine having a conversation with her is like having a conversation with your five-year-old niece — everything’s annoyingly positive and you have to concentrate on not swearing.
But these past few weeks have just been the tipping point. It’s been a long road and there’s been countless sign posts along the way.
Like Anne, Taylor’s never genuine: she’s always aware of the camera when she needs to be candid, she has the faux-shocked reactions for award shows down pat, and she can deliver a contrived and relatable story on a talk show that would annoy even Anne Hathaway herself. She has to walk a non-offensive line so she appeals to tweens and mums and everyone in between.
And then there’s the “squad”.
There are two rules I live my life by: Never swim on a full stomach. And never trust a girl who calls her friends her “squad”. Taylor’s friendship group has a weird cult vibe about it.
She probably extracts intimate confessions from its members on tape and blackmails them when they try to leave like Scientology. Gigi Hadid, if you need saving, blink three times.
Don’t get me wrong, I love her music. Girlfriend knows how to write a hit. I’ve bought every album throughout her entire evolution — from teen Taylor where she sang about castles and horses to adult Taylor where she had sex a few times and got a better haircut.
But she needs to grow up.
Is it tall poppy syndrome? Am I just jealous that I’m not as leggy? Do I yearn for the ability to be able to dress up a simple jeans and tee combo with a dash of red lipstick and some groovy Wayfarers? Would I like to rub up against Harry Styles at some point in my life? Yes. To all of it. But I don’t think that’s the reason. She’s just smug.
After becoming a phenomenon with her 2014 album 1989, Taylor was everywhere. And after all the awards, talk show appearances and tours, she told NME magazine in August last year: “I think I should take some time off. I think people might need a break from me.”
Talented and perceptive.
I have a feeling I’m about to receive an onslaught of Hathahate myself. Please direct it to my Twitter: @hellojamesweir